Have you ever made a monster mistake?
You either have a smirk on your face because you’re a rebel and don’t follow the rules. The only rules you follow are the ones in peices under your feet.
Or you can think of the last time you wanted to disappear from shame. You failed and stuffed that mother down in the basement with all the other things you can’t seem to get rid of.
But the good news is, we can’t write ‘mistake’ and put a period after it. A mistake is a part of a sentence (even many).
The space on either side of error has something more to say.
Another way to see a mistake is to dissect it in half. Now there’s a prefix attached where another word emerges: take. Here we have something to get a hold of.
Mistakes come before takeaways.
The thing about struggle is there’s a force of identity behind it.
We want X but get T. Then, we’re next to U instead of Y.
We start to see U as us. But U is still U, and we are still us.
Life is such a mess sometimes. Even when we simplify and streamline, we can’t contain surprise.
We end up at U, but then the hand of time tips us over the edge. Then, we slide down the curve we never wanted to learn. Afterward, we get stuck in the middle.
But the hand of time tilts us up again, and for a moment we defy gravity. The experience is electric. We’re up and over the worst.
The worst mistakes you make lead to the best things you ever do.
More than once, I thought it would be better if I were dead. I walked in on a surprise party. After the inner hum settled, why I was here wasn’t surprising at all. I was depressed.
With any shocking event, we string up our nerves and play them for a minute. But once the song is over, we hear what the people at the party are telling us: we care about you; we celebrate you; we’re here for the food.
The worst thing I ever did was think the best choice could be death. It can happen to anyone. One push of the sliders on the mental control board and you can believe the imbalance.
But the best thing I did was keep breathing. It was a holy ritual. A way in, through the simple acceptance of fresh air, instead of a way out.
Everyone has their demons.
Even sometimes the ferocity of life is a slip under the skin. As common as a parasite.
I believed I’d better off if… Or they’d better off if. Better had too many letters tacked on. I let the last four loose and myself be.
More important, I started sharing beliefs of high value with myself. Damn it if I wouldn’t be the one to say what mattered most.
You aren’t alone.
You could be a day away from a place where there’s good company. Maybe not. But also maybe so.
Sometimes the most life-changing guest to show up is yourself. You never thought it would be you.
If no one shows up for awhile, make sure you know it’s still worthwhile. Be here when someone does show up.
Whether the large billboard of lack matters depends on you.
There’s no need for examples here. You see it. Lack isn’t lazy with its campaign. It spends all the dollars on advertising. It gets in your face.
You can do one of two things.
Either you get rid of the internet and live in a van down by the river (which is a fine idea).
Or you see the lack for what it is: a tactic to distract you from seeing you’re already enough. Most of all, you can see the ads and know you get to decide what’s important. And what a relief it’s always less than you need convincing.
Now is enough.
You’re sure accepting yourself is right as it gets. Then, the you that’s enough believes now is enough. This moment right now is complete.
Don’t try harder, resist less.
Resist feeling you’re not resisting less.
Reach less, be more.
More than one moment at a time weighs too much.
While life is too heavy to handle all at once, you can get yourself some relief. Be here before there and discover now is enough.