What if we never needed a do-over again? How would it change the way we live?
Do-overs say we’re done. Do-overs imply we’ve missed something. They feed our fear of missing out.
The present is a constant string of first chances.
When we see right now as the origin of all potential, we come back to the system that makes do-overs obsolete.
We can’t go back but can come back.
Why We Think We Need Do-Overs
Maybe we want to go back before we lost our parent or spouse or child. Or before we started being so afraid of what can happen. We want to go back to the point where we stopped believing we can come back.
It’s normal to have regret. But we focus on regret when there’s still time.
This is why one of my deepest concerns is that suffering time stays frozen. Kept in a cold region of our minds. Ice meant to flow like water.
The parcel of pain is heavy. We can’t go back and put it somewhere else. But if we could lift it and bring it with us to warmer weather, it would thaw.
Coming back takes convincing. Calculating risk versus reward. Drafting a plea to our deepest self. It’s okay not to know what to say. Now will either put something into words or it won’t. But it’s all a message:
now is enough.
It’s still true when the ink runs low on enough, and all we can make out is ‘no.’ No is rarely the end of the story. Or the full word.
What We Need Instead
There is not a universal method for going back in life. But there is a universal method for coming back to where we are. Having the wherewithal to stay with our lives whether everything goes our way (it won’t).
We can always come back by concentrating on what’s right in front of us. It’s a primitive pulley system that seems outdated. But the components are as sound and clear as they ever were.
Where we are and what’s in front of us right now is the wheel. There is a groove to keep. Our mind is the rope in the groove of the wheel. But who’s pulling the cord?
We either trust the pulley will do everything for us, or we do everything for the pulley. Neither of these is a full functioning method.
Sometimes we need to lift the weight. Other times we need to lower it.
How do we know when to do which? We have to hold the rope and feel the tension.
Coming back to the current moment uses a slight change of pressure, not a huge overhaul. But we can’t feel it unless we’re holding the rope and keeping the tension.
The System That Makes Do-Overs Obsolete
We have the brilliant opportunity to use a simple system for every one of our moments.
Being present is the essential pulley. It helps us shoulder more than we can. It multiplies our strength. A pulley is for raising heavy weights.
Are we overwhelmed and in a hurry? Let’s use the system. Trust the channel of the metal wheel. Let the rope slide through the groove and get us back to real-time.
Use the power of the pulley. Tug the rope to lift the burden that keeps you from being in the moment.
You need to stay. But if you go, you can always come back. No do-over is necessary.
How can you live in the moment like the first chance it is?